Temporary Unattached

My training was temporarily stopped, and being granted that 'freedom' somehow made me happy and in a lighter mood. It's as if something has been lifted off my shoulders. The sadness, anxiety, depression I was experiencing the past days (or week) was suddenly gone. I'm not happy per se that we stopped training, nor am I happy that I'm somewhat free. I'm happy because I don't need to think of what will make Brant happy, or how to get his attention, or sthg. I'm still here for him, but I can just wait for him, without being an added baggage to what he's already feeling, without waiting or needing him to somehow pull or push the strings that ties me to him.

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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Marks and Ties

When Brant asked me to reflect on why I was aroused when I saw Amanda's marks and ties, I was kind of hesitant. I was very surprised at my reaction when I saw her ties, specially the marks on her butt. I didn't dwell on the why. was actually afraid to dwell on the why of my reaction to it. I was expecting that I'll cringe, maybe turn away from the pics, but my arousal at seeing the pics kind of scared me. I know that to have those marks, she must have hurt, but when I was aroused, I was afraid that I might be more into pain than pleasure. Now, reflecting on why I was aroused, I think the reason was because she was helpless, maybe tied up, and had submitted to Brant to do as he pleases. The vulnerability of her position, to be exposed and flogged and at the same time pleasured. to totally feel no hold as to what will happen, and just rely and trust Brant to take control. I also think that the marks are somehow symbols of Brant's possession, which I was missing, needing, and wanting.

I don't know why I feel more aroused at Amanda's pics than Nikki's. Maybe because Amanda's pics are more restrained, maybe because of the marks, maybe because of the hog tie. All I know is that I wasn't this aroused when I saw the vids Brant showed me at yuvutu, and the other bondage pics I browsed at the net. Seeing Brant's ropeworks, and knowing he will also do those to me when we meet makes me weak and aroused.

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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Being a Sub to My Mentor and Master

Being your sub, there are a lot of things that I enjoy. I enjoy getting to know you more each day, learning of things we have in common, and things we complement each other on. In the process, I also learn more about myself, things I didn't thought about before but realized that it's a part of me. I also like the feeling of being taken cared of and valued. I like the feeling of having someone I can talk to openly, of sharing what I think, and hearing out what he thinks and feels. I like the feeling of being alive, of anticipating each new day. I also learn the value of little and simple things that I took for granted, like wearing panties. I also like the feeling like we’re together even though we’re 10k miles apart. (But of course, nothing beats the reality of being together.)

I also anticipate things that you plan for me, the tasks I have to do, because I know you have reasons for asking me to do them, and that will be for my growth, as well as our relationship. I also like the challenge in doing the tasks though I dread that I might not be able to do it and would disappoint you.



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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

My first post

I created this blog to keep track of my journeys as a sub to my unplanned master. Though some may cringe at a girl like me calling someone her master, it's not like he tells me to do things and I have no choice but to follow them. He asks me to do things, and hears me out on things. Though I know there will be requests I'll have a hard time doing, I know he'll be there to support me and will take care of me.

I just wish we can be together soon