Temporary Unattached

My training was temporarily stopped, and being granted that 'freedom' somehow made me happy and in a lighter mood. It's as if something has been lifted off my shoulders. The sadness, anxiety, depression I was experiencing the past days (or week) was suddenly gone. I'm not happy per se that we stopped training, nor am I happy that I'm somewhat free. I'm happy because I don't need to think of what will make Brant happy, or how to get his attention, or sthg. I'm still here for him, but I can just wait for him, without being an added baggage to what he's already feeling, without waiting or needing him to somehow pull or push the strings that ties me to him.

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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

tired and still aroused

Wearing my shorts at home without panties with my clit relaxed made me relaxed as well. I'm not that self conscious anymore even when I have to open the door for my mom. On my way home, I was trying to come up with ideas on how to help alleviate Brant's boredom. I wished I was there to keep him company.

After emailing Brant, I removed my shorts, set the timer, opened my legs and labia, and touched around the opening of my vagina wishing it was Brant's cock, that I am with him. I'm also wishing he won't get angry or mind my suggestions or sthg in my email. After the timer went off, I wear my panties, curled and hugged a pillow, thinking it was Brant, wishing tomorrow would be better, and dozed off to sleep.

Checking my emails before I went to bath, I was happy to see Brant's email and after reading it, I suddenly find myself wet and I was surprised. I'm not aroused but very proud and happy for Brant. I thought that maybe Brant wanted me wet while he's happy lol.

At bath, after wishing to belong to Brant, I soaped myself thinking it was him doing it, being relaxed and happy. When I soaped my pussy very aroused I played with my pussy using my left hand whilesoaping it. I was very aroused that I rinsed and, standing with my back on the wall, played touched my pussy with my left hand rubbing around my labia and on my clit. I used my right hand for support but I can't seem to be on edge enough to make me cum. I closed my eyes, imagined Brant whispering, his breath on my neck, saying he wanted me on edge. Touching my clit with my left hand, I worked to make me on edge, and when he said he wanted me to cum, I cum. Cumming made me so tired, I can just move slowly. I rinsed, and when wearing my shorts, I almost fell out of balance. I can now no longer comb my hair while standing, I always feel so tired after bath lol.

While preparing my breakfast, and while doing this blog post, I'm still aroused and would've wished to be with Brant, to touch myself, or better yet, him touching me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Missing Brant

During my night ritual, as I lie with my legs open, I imagined that Brant is with me, stroking his cock and rubbing it around my vagina. I was missing him terribly and in a way is glad that somehow, during my nightly ritual, I feel that I am with him. Curling beside a pillow to sleep after my ritual, I wished that we'll be able to have those long talks again.

I woke up a little early for my bath ritual and was a bit afraid that I might fail Brant. I was meaning to ask him yesterday abt my ritual but didn't have the chance. After wishing to belong to him and be his private slut, I soaped my body, thinking and wishing it was him doing it. I then soaped my butt and pussy. I was a little turned on but was also afraid I might not be able to cum and disappoint him. I hurriedly rinsed and stand with my back at the wall and my right hand to support me. I played with my clit using my left hand and was having a hard time concentrating, becoming desperate to cum. I was very much afraid of not being able to do the task and disappoint Brant as I was missing him very much and don't want to lose him. It took me longer today than yesterday to cum, and was feeling very tired after I cum that all I can do is move slowly, toweling myself dry and going out of the bath after.


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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

in a not so good mood

Missing Brant the whole day soured my mood. I caught myself and tried to divert my mind to other things instead. Arriving home, I was still not in that good a mood. I almost didn't took off my panties, like rebelling against Brant, but caught myself again and removed my panties. Being in this mood has its advantages, my clit wasn't hard and I didn't have a hard time with my shorts lol. I just needed to fix it once and I think my mom didn't even noticed it. After doing the dishes, I went up to my room and browsed a bit. After emailing Brant and making this post, I plan to go to bed, needing to wake up early tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

sleepy night and tired left hand

It was raining yesterday so I wear shorts so as to avoid the windy feeling I feel when wearing skirt without panties. Eating my dinner, I have to discreetly fix my shorts so it won't rub on my clit. Good thing my mom didn't notice me fidgeting. Or she does but just didn't tell me?

During my nightly ritual, it was already late and I was so sleepy it took me a long while to upload the pics but still won't work, so I ended up emailing some of them instead. After removing my panties and setting the timer, I opened my legs and labia and touched around the opening of my vagina. I thought that being sleepy, I wouldn't be aroused but I was wrong. Thinking it was Brant's cock rubbing, tapping around my vagina made me want to touch myself but can't. I was wondering abt things I heard or read where wives don't want to have sex with their husbands when they're tired from the day's work and wished I would never feel that. When the timer went off, I wear my panties and curled myself, hugging a pillow thinking it was Brant and went to sleep.

At bath earlier, I brought in my cellphone to know the time. After I took off my clothes and wished to belong to Brant and be his private slut, I soaped myself and played with my nipples thinking it was Brant doing it. I was very aroused and soaped my butt and pussy. As I was soaping my pussy, I caught myself because I was using my right hand. So I soaped and played with my pussy using my left hand and was very turned on. I was a little afraid that it might take me long again to cum and I don't want to feel that desperate feeling I felt yesterday, but at the same time, I was very aroused so I rinsed, stand with my back on the wall and played around my labia and on my clit using my left hand. I was aroused but not enough to push me on the edge so I closed my eyes, imagined Brant is with me, watching me while stroking his cock, and it made me very aroused and I played with my clit, felt the orgasm approaching, put more pressure on my clit, rubbing on it, and I cum. It took me easier this time but felt that my left hand is so tired, I need to put effort in just moving it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

energy drained

Doing my night ritual, after removing my panties and setting the timer, I tried rubbing around the opening of my vagina with my left hand instead of my right. I'm not comfortable so I shifted back to using my right hand and my left hand keeping my labia open. I was wishing I can do the task tomorrow at bath while thinking that Brant's cock is rubbing and tapping around the opening of my vagina, hoping we'll be together soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Just got out of bath, and all I can say, this bath is very energy draining. When I woke up, the first thing I thought was I have to cum at bath using my left hand. I was kind of aroused and at the same time thinking how I'll do it. When I got to bath, I take off my clothes, wished that I belong to Brant and to be his private slut, and soaped myself. As I was soaping my body, my mind was a bit distracted by the task at hand. I remembered Brant wanted me aroused at bath so I started playing with my nipples thinking it was Brant. I then soaped my butt and pussy. As I was soaping my pussy with my right hand, I remembered Brant saying to use my left hand in touching myself. I didn't know if it includes soaping my pussy, but I changed hands soaping instead with my left hand. I was very aroused, I soaped around my labia and played with my clit. I hurriedly rinsed and touched myself. I'm aroused but have a very hard time cumming. I didn't know how to position myself to relax and be able to concentrate on cumming. I then stand with my back on the wall, my right hand supporting me, and my left hand playing with my clit. I imagined Brant smiling his approval at me, and I tried to concentrate on his face and on cumming. It took me a long while before I did cum. After cumming, I can't move, literally. My energy was drained, and my left foot felt a little cramped. I rinsed and got out of bath feeling very tired. I can't seem to even comb my hair lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

how and what

On the way home, I was thinking of two things among others. The first was my task at bath tomorrow, which somehow makes me wet, thinking how I'll please Brant, how I can cum at bath using my left hand. The other is thinking abt taking the pics. I was a bit surprised when Brant asked me why I was feeling uneasy abt the pics. It made me realize that I was uneasy because he might not like what he'll see and not because I'm showing my body to him, which was my first reason before when we were starting with the pics. It made me think and somehow fear what I am becoming.

Arriving home, I removed my panties after changing to house clothes. I can feel my wetness caused by thinking of what I'll do tomorrow. I ate dinner while watching TV and having chitchat with my mom. I have some rashes at my back due to the heat and had asked mom to put powder on it. I was kind of uneasy that she might notice me not wearing panties but hopefully she didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

2 baths and a night

Sunday afternoon and evening...

After taking a nap, I went to bath. I was missing Brant and really wished to belong to him. As I soaped my body, I can't help feeling a little bit aroused. I soaped my pussy and I was aroused but don't really have the urge to cum. So I rinsed and went out of bath. I'm still not that relaxed, I'm still missing Brant terribly.

At church, I'm not in the mood to do anything. Then one of my churchmate came and brought his 1-yr old niece. Playing with her removed my mind from what I am feeling.

When I logged in before going to bed, I was surprised to see Brant already online. I was thinking if we can have a call before I go to sleep but his ym is idle so I went to sleep, hoping we can talk tomorrow before I go to work.

During my nightly ritual, as I opened my legs and labia, and thinking that it was Brant's cock rubbing and tapping around my vagina, I can't help but whisper that I miss him, and to wish that I was with him.


Monday morning...

We still can't have a good connection for the call, so I went to bath. I sort of felt silly for the way I felt yesterday, missing him terribly and feeling a little empty. As I took off my clothes and wished to belong to him, I hoped that someday soon I can be with him. I soaped my breasts, thinking it was Brant playing with my nipples. I then soaped my pussy and butt and felt very aroused. I rinsed and touched myself. I'm having a hard time that I tried to squat and touch myself but can't do it with ease so I stand up again and just lean on my right side while leaning my left hand to the wall for support. I'm having difficulty cumming, then I thought of Brant, playing with my clit, stroking his cock, feeling that he still wants me and I cum intensely.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

half day

I woke up a little too early and still feeling a little dizzy. My mom woke up when I was abt to take my bath and she have to go to the bath so I just took a quick wash instead. After coming back from church and eating my breakfast, I went to take a nap. I woke up a couple of hours later, removed my panties before going down and have chitchats while having an early lunch with my mom. It's kinda hard to eat lunch and be excited from anticipating the call later so I engage her in chitchats to get my mind off my excitement. A carpenter was working upstairs (on the third floor) and when he was abt to leave, I have to be the one to open the door for him. I was feeling real uneasy, I know he wouldn't know I'm not wearing any panties but the thought doesn't eased up the feeling. Afterwards, I hurriedly washed the dishes, brushed my teeth and went to my room to talk to Brant


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

recount

I went out with some friends and bought a cam and got home earlier than I expected. I was so tired yesterday, and wasn't really feeling that well. I was feeling like the colds at work is coming up with my resistance to it lol. So after changing to house clothes and doing my prayers, I removed my panties and got online to rest for awhile. I then logged out, and did my nightly ritual. I was feeling tired and a little bit unwell that I thought that I would pass my nightly ritual. But I was afraid of disappointing Brant so I lie down, set the timer, and opened my legs and labia and touched around the opening of my vagina. I wasn't that aroused but when I thought that it was Brant's cock, I was kind of awakened from my sleepy state, and was feeling every rubbed and tap around my vagina. When the timer went off, I had to rub my inner thighs, wear my panties and curled to sleep hugging a pillow, thinking it was Brant and the call we'll have tomorrow.

Earlier at bath, I was excited. I wished that I belong to Brant, trimmed my pussy and took my bath. As I was soaping my breasts, I imagined it was Brant, saying that he wants a picture of it. I was a little uneasy but aroused at the same time, my skin tingled. Then I soaped my pussy and butt, still thinking it was Brant and telling me to get a pic of it. I was aroused as I was soaping my pussy but can't cum since Brant told me not to so. I also prefer to cum with him so I hurriedly rinsed and got out of bath to talk with Brant. I was very aroused and edgy that I wanted to ask Brant if I can touch myself as soon as I got online with him. Unfortunately, when I got back online, my connection became intermittent. It was very frustrating, to want to talk to him but my connection won't allow me to :(

When he got offline, I was browsing some pics on the Library and was thinking to myself that I shohuldn't be browsing because I'm missing him more. After sometime, my mom went up and I was sitting with my skirt askew and no panties, that I hurriedly fixed it. I don't think she saw that I had no panties under and I was hoping she didn't notice anything out of ordinary when I arranged my skirt lol.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

his pussy

Yesternight, after logging off, I wear my panties back, prayed, and removed my skirt and panties for my nightly ritual. After removing my panties, I set the timer, opened my legs and labia and touched around my vagina. I was thinking that it was Brant's cock rubbing around the opening, while he is calling my pussy as his. I was really aroused I have to close and rub my inner thighs after the timer went off.

At bath, I took off my clothes and after reciting and wishing that I belong to Brant, I soaped my neck and breasts. I can't help thinking of what happened yesterday, and I thought of him, standing behind me, soaping me and saying that he wants me wet and the hair at the back of my neck rose. It took some time for me to get my senses back, and I just noticed that I was soaping and playing with my nipples. I then soaped my pussy, thinking that Brant is doing it, calling it his. I remembered him saying to cum as can while I'm still allowed to enjoy his pussy. I hurriedly rinsed and touched myself. My skin was tingling and I thought I'll cum easily but felt a little distracted standing and trying not to slip or sthg. I then braced myself on my left hand, leaning and playing with my clit. My orgasm seems to be at bay but a little out of reach that I begged in my mind to Brant to allow me to cum and after a while I did. I was shaking and feeling weak-kneed that I hurriedly toweled myself dry, and carefully went out of the bath so as not to slip and sat outside while combing my hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

windy night

After changing to house clothes, I removed my panties. As usual, my panties were a little wet when I removed them. I ate my dinner while watching TV. I don't want to think abt what happened earlier since I know I'll be wet again and might be noticed by my mom when she arrived. After washing the dishes, my mom arrived and I had to open the door for her. It was a little windy outside and I was a little wet and I can really feel air travelling underneath and makes me uncomfortable. When my mom was already eating her dinner, a guy neighbor of ours knocks to buy some ice. I would've ignored it since I dont want to go out, specially to approach or talk with a guy while I have nothing underneath but my mom heard it. So I went out and gave him the ice he bought. I was still naked underneath while I made the email to Brant and can feel myself get wet again, I know that my nightly ritual will again be a torture lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

almost slipped

After i took off my clothes, I recited and wished to belong to Brant. I then soaped myself thinking it was him. I was kind of in a hurry since I was able to go to bath a few minutes late already and having my ritual would add to my usual 30-minute bath. As I was soaping my breasts, thinking that Brant is playing with my nipples, I felt aroused. I then soaped my pussy and played around my labia. I then rinsed and touched myself. I had a hard time standing and cumming and wanted to sit at the toilet. I squatted instead and touched myself but still have a hard time so I stand up again, leaned on my left hand and right side and thought of Brant playing with my clit while he's stroking his cock and cum intensely. I was feeling weak-kneed that I toweled myself hurriedly so as to have a sit outside. Getting out of the bath, I almost slipped. Luckily, I was able to grasp the door jamb and caught myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

restrained night

I was very tired and sleepy yesternight when I did my ritual. I removed my panties, lie down, set the timer and opened my legs and labia and touched around my vagina. Feeling tired and sleepy, I was feeling aroused when I touched around, rubbed around the opening of my vagina thinking it was Brant's cock. I stopped myself from moaning and would really want to touch myself and cum but restrained myself. When the timer went off, I just contented myself in closing my thighs and rubbing it together to alleviate some stress.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

air under

I arrived past 9pm already. One of our projects is being shown to our users and I can't leave till I'm sure all is ok. After changing to house clothes, I removed my panties and found out that it's a little wet. I think just thinking of our conversation, and wanting to be near Brant even for non-sexual related activities makes me wet lol. I ate my dinner, washed the dishes and do my nightly rituals. I was so tired but can still feel the air under my skirt, which makes me feel my wetness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

no sitting on the toilet

I was kind of looking forward to my bath. Replying to Brant's email and taking the pic made me aroused and feelin vulnerable again. I thought that taking the pic of my butt would be easy since I already did it before, but I'm still feeling vulnerable after sending it. At bath, after taking my clothes off and reciting that I wish to belong to Brant, I soaped myself thinking it was him. After soaping and massaging my neck and breasts, I soaped my pussy and wanted to cum. Then I remembered I can't sit on the toilet, and I just played with my pussy, taking a long time soaping it. I rinsed then touched my pussy and played with my clit but I'm having a hard time standing and touching myself at the same time. I leaned on the wall with my left hand, touched myself with my right thinking it was Brant touching my clit. I have to stop myself from moaning, I pressed my face to my left arm to stop myself from being overheard. I cum, hurriedly rinsed and got out of bath to sit while combing my hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

wet night

Like yesternight, I was very wet when I did my nightly ritual. I have to be careful not to exceed the 1cm limit. I set my timer, opened my legs and labia and touched around the opening of my vagina thinking it was Brant's cock. I was very aroused and would have wanted to touch myself but I know I can't. I was kind of hurrying the 5+ minute time to come since it felt like torture to be so aroused and not to touch myself. I just think of the bath tomorrow where I can relieve myself while thinking that Brant is watching at me, rubbing his cock around my vagina's opening. I felt kind of relieved when the timer went off, hurriedly wear my panties and curled to sleep. Moving made my panties brush against my clit and I have to fix my panties before curling back with a pillow, hugging it and thinking it was Brant, and went to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

wet without panties

I was feeling wet when I arrived home. I changed to house clothes (sleeveless shirt and skirt) and removed my panties and found out that I really am wet. I think having an insight as to where the training will lead me made me real wet. Scared and aroused at the same time. I was feeling uncomfortable without wearing my panties feeling this wet. I was glad that my mom left for church or I might not be able to act normal. After eating dinner, I decided to take a pic of my butt under my skirt and found out that it's not obvious that I am naked underneath. But seeing is different from knowing and feeling. While brushing my teeth, I tested my wetness by lightly rubbing my inner thighs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

sensual bath is here again

I was excited to go to bath today. Taking a bath is once again sensual with Brant. I took off my clothes, recited that I wish to belong to Brant, really wishing that I am his. Just reciting it makes the hairs at the back of my neck rise and my skin tingle. I then soaped my body, thinking it was Brant massaging me, soaping me. When I soaped my pussy, I was surprised to find out that my clit was very hard. I was very aroused, I hurriedly rinsed to touch my pussy. I touched my labia, circling around my clit and I didn't feel that I was already cumming but my knees shook I have to sit. I partially sat on the toilet, touching my clit directly this time, thinking that Brant was the one playing with my clit while looking at me and I cum intensely. I have to rest for awhile before rinsing again and going out of the bath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Right 2 err 3

I removed my skirt before lying down and set the timer. I was already naked underneath the skirt. As I lie down, I opened my legs and touched around my vagina, I found out that I'm very wet. I touched around my vagina thinking it was Brant's cock, I'm really very aroused. I rubbed around the opening, tapping, and thinking that someday, Brant will make me his. I was very aroused that I was tempted to touch my clit while rubbing around the opening. When the timer went off, I rubbed around my clit, touching my labia instead of directly touching my clit. From time to time, I would touch and put pressure on my clit. I was very aroused, I can't help moaning. Glad my mom was already sleeping. Touching my labia, and occassionally touching my clit made me cum intensely. After cumming and catching my breath, I touched myself again and cum shortly after. I might have drifted off to sleep. I woke a few minutes after, feeling my hand is above my mons, and touched myself directly at my clit but was too sleepy already that I wear my panties back, curled hugging a pillow thinking it was Brant and drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Panty-less again

I'm so happy today! Brant decided to train me back again. My spirits were really flying and was happy the whole day even though there are lots of work lined up. I got home from work past 8pm already and I need to be at church before 9pm. I changed to skirt, ate a hurried dinner and went to church. When we got back, I changed to house clothes. I decided to wear a skirt, went to my room and removed my panties since I'm back to not being allowed to wear one at home. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable walking without panties. After days of wearing one, I forgot the feeling of not wearing one and am back to feeling on edge, trying to act normal around my mom but feeling vulnerable under. I wore back my panties for my night time prayer, then removed it again while making the reflection post and this post. I'm looking forward to my night time ritual, though I have to take a new set of pics again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Marks and Ties

When Brant asked me to reflect on why I was aroused when I saw Amanda's marks and ties, I was kind of hesitant. I was very surprised at my reaction when I saw her ties, specially the marks on her butt. I didn't dwell on the why. was actually afraid to dwell on the why of my reaction to it. I was expecting that I'll cringe, maybe turn away from the pics, but my arousal at seeing the pics kind of scared me. I know that to have those marks, she must have hurt, but when I was aroused, I was afraid that I might be more into pain than pleasure. Now, reflecting on why I was aroused, I think the reason was because she was helpless, maybe tied up, and had submitted to Brant to do as he pleases. The vulnerability of her position, to be exposed and flogged and at the same time pleasured. to totally feel no hold as to what will happen, and just rely and trust Brant to take control. I also think that the marks are somehow symbols of Brant's possession, which I was missing, needing, and wanting.

I don't know why I feel more aroused at Amanda's pics than Nikki's. Maybe because Amanda's pics are more restrained, maybe because of the marks, maybe because of the hog tie. All I know is that I wasn't this aroused when I saw the vids Brant showed me at yuvutu, and the other bondage pics I browsed at the net. Seeing Brant's ropeworks, and knowing he will also do those to me when we meet makes me weak and aroused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

1st (punishment)

I was aroused since yesterday. I even wanted to touch myself while I was in the bath at work. The confusing part is I don't know why I'm very aroused. Maybe because somehow, I can see a possibility of me being with Brant.

Last night, while I was updating my resume and browsing around the net on Seattle jobs and the library, I was touching myself outside my panties. Weird to be touching myself while doing something not really erotic. I can feel my clit growing hard. Then Te Tan, the sadist from fetlife, talked to me. We talk abt BDSM but what he's saying didn't really aroused me lol. I even stopped touching myself when we're talking and just updated my resume and browsed around while chatting with him. After some time, I signed off and went to sleep.

Early this morning, my mom forgot that it's a holiday and woke me up, asking why I'm not yet up. Being a light sleeper, I can't go back to sleep and went online instead. During the day, I still feel aroused. I browsed and applied to Seattle jobs then really felt the need to touch myself. I was kind of hesitant if I should, and if I could cum. Touching myself yestermight outside my panties 'relieved' some of the arousal but I can feel that even if I want to cum, I'll have a hard time to do so since I can feel something is missing. I decided to try to cum and touched myself outside my panties while browsing around bondage pics on the net. I'm on edge and would really want to cum but can't seem to reach it. I played with my clit directly then thought of Brant's face and I cum suddenly crying out his name. I'm very surprised since when I touched my clit, I can feel that I still have to do some work for me to cum, and seeing Brant in my mind's eye pushed me suddenly over the edge, the feeling was so intense. I didn't know that I would cum that moment. I thought that if that happened when I was supposed to tell Brant that I'll cum before I do, I'd have earned another punishment since I didn't see it coming. This is the first time that I cum without me feeling it coming, and also the first time that I had called someone while cumming. I was glad mom went out or she might have heard me calling Brant.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

after 6 days...

During the past days, my feelings are in turmoil. I was aroused on a number of occasions, but don't have the "push" to touch myself. I feel that something's missing. Yesterday morning, before I leave for work, I peeped at the Library and found Brant's ropework on Amanda. I was surprised at my reaction. When I watched the vids at yuvutu, I was aroused but more curious. Like I was aware of other surroundings in the vid, like what the girl was doing, or the man, etc. But seeing the ropes on Amanda, seeing that it was Brant who did it, I feel very aroused, my skin was tingling all over. Seeing the marks on Amanda's butt aroused me instead of making me cringe as I initially thought I would react. I was very aroused the whole day. Before I go to bed last night, I had the chance to look at the pictures more clearly. I touched myself, played with my clit but can't seem to make myself cum. I feel that I'm trespassing or doing something wrong. Then I remembered that I still have 2 rights to cum so I thought that I'll just use it. It made me relax, and then I cum. After I had catched my breath, I continued touching my clit indirectly, playing around the labia. In just a short time, I cum again. I wanted to continue touching myself to cum one more time but was already sleepy and just curled up with my pillow instead.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Clit pressure

At bath, after I recited that I belong to Brant, I soaped myself and thought abt what he said that I should touch my clit last to prevent it from being too tender. As I was soaping myself, massaging my neck and breasts, playing with my nipples all the time imagining it was Brant's hand. I then soaped and massaged my butt and pussy and I wanted to touch myself but stopped and just continued to play with my nipples and butt. I crave the pressure on my clit, so I rinsed, partially sat down on the toilet, touched my clit and played with my nipples, and cum. I rinsed again, and I can't stand steadily, so I got out of bath to be able to sit properly while combing my hair.

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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Sleepy night

Yesterday, I was very sleepy when I hit the sack. Lying down, I took off my panties, set the timer, and did my ritual. As I opened my labia and tapped around my vagina and imagined that it was Brant's cock, I hoped that someday, we'll really be together and I'll be his real private slut. I was very sleepy and aroused, I thought that maybe, even after a long day, I'll still be able to play with him. As the timer went off, I wear my panties and curled to sleep.

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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

A little tender

I wake up feeling a little funny on my clit. I went to the bath and felt it was tender. After I took off my clothes to bath, recited I belong to Brant, and soaped myself. I played with my nipples thinking it was Brant then soaped my pussy. My clit was tender, I can't put pressure on it. I soaped around it, rubbing on my labia and I wanted to cum but I know I can't coz of time constraints. So I rinsed, and touched myself some more, then got out of bath.

Earlier tonight, after I ate my dinner, I almost jumped hearing one of our neighbors call outside. Since it's hot here in the Philippines, selling ice is common. He asked if there was still ice available since my mom is selling some ice. I was near the refrigerator then, and obviously would be the one to give it to our neighbor. I was wearing shorts then and nothing underneath. Luckily though, he didn't hear my mom answer his call and he went away. I released a silent sigh of relief.

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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.

Right 1

Last night, after my prayers, I took my panties off, set the timer and lie down. As I was tapping and rubbing around my vagina, I was already wet since I was anticipating what it would be like to touch myself and cum after my ritual. I have to be careful abt the 1cm or I might get carried away. Thinking that it was Brant's cock and not my fingers tapping and rubbing along my vagina arouses me more. I was kind of wishing the timer would set off coz I want to touch myself already. When the alarm rang, I touched myself slowly at first. Since I don't need to hurry, I touched myself around the labia, thinking abt Brant. Then when I can't wait any longer, I increased the pressure, played with my nipples and cum. After some time, as I lay there, still not wearing my panties, I touched myself around my pussy and can feel I'm still aroused. I touched myself again and cum quicker this time. After some time, I tried to touch myself again, but can feel the soreness and since I am also already sleepy, I decided to wear my panties and curl to sleep.

Haven't cum twice on my own before being a sub to Brant. First was when talking to Brant. Now after my ritual. Guess I should really think it is normal to cum more than once with Brant.

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Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.

Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.