A very nerve-wracking day. I have to go to work wearing skirt and no panties underneath. I'm really feeling open and vulnerable and nervous. I checked my mail before going to church, after arriving from church, and before leaving for work, was waiting for Brant's email and was kind of scared and nervous that he hasn't. I scolded myself to stop worrying and trust him. I was already on nerves and my day hasn't started yet. I almost left my purse at home when I leave for work. Then walking to the bus stop, my sandals always slips off my feet. I'm having a hard time rushing to work. On the way to the office, during the jeep ride, there was a beggar who got in. He's a guy who is in his mid 30's to early 40's, who is strong enough to work. He passed around a letter, then sat on the jeep's floor in front of me! I was already feeling so self-conscious and I know he didn't do it because he knows I'm wearing nothing underneath but I can't help myself and try to fix my skirt more secure around me.
At work, everyone's kidding me as to wearing skirt, and I just shooed them off. But every time I go to the bath, I feel very open and vulnerable. As the day went on, I was talking to Brant, I know he's just teasing me and I try to just jokingly shove it away, but I'm aroused. I try not to be since I don't want to feel more self-conscious if I stand up and walk and feel myself wet. As I walk, I can feel me being open, and being aroused at the same time. I want to constantly talk to Brant to maybe make me calmer, but I know he's also busy and I don't want to be a crybaby. I also don't know if talking to him is a good idea since I might get terribly wet if I continue to talk to him. When I read his email after I arrive from work, I was immediately relieved. But I'm still feeling open, I thought I'd get used to this because it's been quite some time now that I'm not wearing panties at home. But I don't think I'll ever be. Even when at home, if there's a visitor or sthg, I still feel open and self-conscious. Here at the office, I can't even stretch without feeling that I'm naked under.
During lunch, as majority of my colleagues are men, I have no choice but to sit beside them and try to act normally amidst their jesting. But I really feel vulnerable that I want to run somewhere, wear my panties on before going back to join them. After lunch, I asked Brant if he would change the rules, and I wish he would. And I wish I didn't disappoint him that I asked. And I wish that whatever the consequence to my request is, I can do it to please him.
While talking to Brant abt his vid, I wanted to touch myself, like I was at home, but I know I can't. There's no pressure to relieve me like when I'm wearing pants or jeans. When after some time, I stand up to re-fill my glass with water, I can feel moisture below, and cold air traveling, and I feel really uneasy and at the same aroused. I tried to limit my movements, because every time I stand up and walk, I feel uneasy, self-conscious, aroused.
I was kind of dreading the walk to the bus station when I left the office. A colleague, Vetz, reached me downstairs and since we're going the same way, we walked together and talked abt stuffs. At first, I was hesitant to walk with her. But later on, I was thankful coz our chitchats took my mind off on what I'm feeling. We separated at the bus station and I was very jittery that I almost jumped when a woman's bag brushed on my butt unintentionally. As I ride the bus, I think of what happened during the day. I don't feel my normal self, I can't act my normal self. I'm wondering if people at work noticed that I'm trying to be inconspicuous in my corner. When I got off the bus, I feel very tired. My feet aches, I'm still all nerves, I just want to sit down and rest. I feel somewhat miserable and I didn't expect the day to end feeling like this.
Reaching home, I wanted very much to wear my panties, but just wore the skirt instead. I ate my dinner tiredly. Luckily, my mom was still at church. I didn't know if I would be in the mood for chitchats, I feel kinda grumpy. I planned to go there after eating dinner but just texted my friend Ana that I wouldn't be able to meet her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submissive women are not weaklings. They are sensitive people who have a great deal of resilience in the face of their particular challenges.
Submissiveness is a strength seeking a proper context.
